Would A Real Life Robert and Kristen Relationship Ruin New Moon?
New Moon will be released soon – so soon, in fact, that we can almost smell the mixture of black nail polish and teenage urine from here.
But there’s trouble on the horizon. According to magazine reports this week, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have dramatically fallen in love and their relationship is threatening to pull the success of New Moon apart. Wait, did we say ‘threatening to pull New Moon apart’? Because we meant ‘coming off like a cynical marketing stunt designed exclusively to make millions of useless teenage girls become even more unbearably excited about New Moon‘.
Our mistake.
The thing that girls like about Robert Pattinson is that he’s attainable. It has to be. Because it’s clearly not his haircut. Or his juddering lack of any charisma whatsoever. Or his personal hygiene. No, it has to be because he’s attainable. Girls think that they have a shot at Robert Pattinson because he looks like a mediocre, drawn-from-memory pencil sketch of a 1980s barbershop model. All they want to do is take him home, give him a shave, wash his hair and somehow try to mould his skull into something more recognisably human.
Our point is this – if Robert Pattinson ever went public with a girlfriend, his popularity would immediately plummet. And if he ever went public with a girlfriend who happened to star opposite him in the only films he’ll ever be remembered for, then we’d probably never hear from him again.
Which is a shame because, if reports are to be believed, Robert Pattinson is madly in love with Kristen Stewart.
And, yes, we know that this might not strictly be news – all the dinner dates and concert-based nuzzling that’s been going on between them lately has seen to that – but what is news is that the relationship between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart might rip New Moon apart. Sorry, that wasn’t anywhere near sensational enough. Let’s try again: the relationship between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart might RIP New Moon APART!!
Source: Read the original HERE.
I found this article really interesting because if Robert were to come out and be dating Kristen openly, it probably would kill some of his career because then he becomes just like every other famous actor who went for their beautiful costar. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. If he really is dating Kristen and they come out it will be interesting to see what it does to the Triliogy as well as to each of their careers.
September 10th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
I found this article hilarious!
Yes it’s sharp in the acidic sense but it has a point of view I am interested in.
Personally I could care less if Rob and Kristen are dating. What annoys me is all the secrecy and hype. So desperate are they to preserve the media hype for the franchise that staged supposedly improv interviews and media frenzy are the norm.
Some of the stars are madder than a box of frogs, with not a single original thought of their own, except to gain twitter following, air time and bizarre photo shoots. The paparazzi themselves have crosed the line so many times it’s not right and gotten away with it and don’t get me started on some of the fans who are so deluded they should be in therapy.
Will all this boring crazy nonsense affect the movie sequel in November?…Not one bit.
If Robert pattinson drove over a fan they would still crawl on their hands and knees to see the movie.
If he married kristen Stewart no one would care and those little deluded hearts that WOULD break would still go and see the movies, that’s what delusion is. A complete inability to accept reality.
But remember I said this. New Moon will be a hit but if Summit don’t put a lid on all this nonsense, everyone will be so sick of it, they won’t go and see Eclipse.
Remember Lord of the rings and Pirates of the caribbean.
Familiarity breeds contempt? (well indifference anyway!)lol
September 11th, 2009 at 12:25 am
I dont know!!!!
moot point
check out my blog
http://www.bellasperogative.blogspot.com
September 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am
is it true that rob is becming a dad?
September 21st, 2009 at 7:26 pm
i dont know robert paterson personally but i think it would. if he was the jealous type… it would ruin the movie. he’d be like… “no kissing taylor!” that would suck. and now that they’re getting married… i dont know how this will all end… probably in a divorce… but hey! who knows? lol
to me they already messed up the movies by using kristen as bella and robert as edward. both cant act so its already ruined lol
im still gonna see it though… -_-’